it’s not the end yet

As I write this I am ready to go home. I have a laptop perched on my lap, crowded around a small table in Starbucks with Karu probably writing code on his laptop (I can only guess) and Zitian trying to make a rabbit out of beads. It’s been a long time since I have been comfortable enough to write, let alone write a blogpost in such a public space. I’m not sure I’ll ever go back to being as comfortable with writing as I was back in my early teens, when writing was sometimes literally my sustenance. But there’s no better time to start that journey than now (exactly because there’s no time sooner than now).

It’s been a year since I moved to Sunway to pursue pre-tertiary education. And while the programme itself isn’t exactly stellar (one of my favourite pasttimes is regretting not taking the risk to do IB and instead cowardly doing A-Levels because it was familiar), the journey has been amazing. I was placed in a very fortunate class; I say fortunate because these classmates of mine have turned out to be some of the most amazing people I’ve ever met. In the first days of class, I singled out classmates I’d found to be particularly interesting or intelligent, and hoped we could be friends. A year later, I am so proud to call them some of my closest friends. I am still constantly in disbelief over this pleasant turn of events.

In the course of a year I’ve had the honour of experiencing some of the most bizzare and epic, and just plainly lovely lovely lovely moments of my short life so far. These moments are both achievements and serendipity that I’d never been able to imagine previously. Just to list a few: going out with the whole class because we simply enjoy the company of each other, going out with a stranger, driving in the highways of KL at night, and of course, photoshoot journeys. Each of them is probably worth a story in its own, for which I am so grateful to have had the opportunity of being involved in firsthand. It’s a little upsetting to think that soon we’ll be recalling, or even telling these stories instead of living them.

Since borrowing my cousin’s car for three weeks, I’ve been increasingly aware of the surreal quality of my time here in completing this programme. I dare say it’s not at all unlike a really long holiday. Where else would such incredible things happen in besides a holiday? It’s probably because I am all too aware of the ephemeral quality of our times together, no matter how infinite they seemed at the moment. I’m reminded each time we pack our bags during breaks to go home that our lives are only intersecting for the briefest of moments, and this intersection is ending soon. Wishfully speaking, it would be really great if time could glitch and we could stay 19 for a while longer, lamenting studies and being confused about the future together. But I know that with each bus ride for home, the end of this chapter dawns closer and closer. And with that, we move on.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s