Things to do in Ikea (without getting kicked out)

1. Eat meatballs (and variations of it)
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2. Let the kids eat breakfast
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3. Experiment being in a domestic relationshipDSC_270622
4. Get emotionally ready to be working a low-wage job as a cashier if college doesn’t turn out well
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5.  Exercise facial expressions while on the poop bowl
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6. Try out sofa spots for a family of five 
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7. Find out the best kind of mosaic tiles for what-am-I-doing-with-my-life shower moments
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8. Practice being a diva for those occasional backstage moments
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9. Take a nap with a giant sausage thing
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10. Ask the fox what it really said
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11. Decide whether reading bedtime stories to your kids is for you
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12. Face your ophidiophobia
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13. Play football
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14. Discover a whole new world of shopping when you shop for kids
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15. Go for isolation therapy
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16. Conclude with an obnoxious mirror groupie
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