Guidelines to Eating a Stranger’s Food

Suppose you are in Subway, and on the table next to you, you spy a half-eaten Italian B.M.T. sandwich. There was a girl eating the sandwich before she left. You remembered because she was kind of pretty and your table was rather close to hers.

The question is: Do you eat the sandwich? If you decide to go ahead, here are some rules of thumb:

1. You must have been subtly watching the stranger handle her food during the entire period that she was eating.
2. The stranger must appear to be relatively hygienic and seem to you to be free from any contagious disease.
3. The food of interest must not be contaminated after the stranger has decided not to eat it. 
3. You must make sure that the stranger has left the premises and will not be returning.
4. You must never ever eat from where she left off. You eat from the other end. You stop before you reach where you think her traces of saliva is. It is better to leave a safe distance of about one inch.
5. You must not freak out when your friend discovers an empty packet of orange powder with the label: ‘For Dehydration Due to Diarrhea’ next to where you found her sandwich after you have taken a bite.
6. You must cling onto false medical beliefs that are in your favour.
7. You must drag your friends into this.
8. You must believe that the slight tummy ache four hours later is purely psychological.
9. Remember to hashtag #yolo 

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s